My silence speaks louder than my words,
but here they speak in vain:
There is nowhere that I can be alone,
Yet everywhere that I go, I feel alone.
They can all hear my stammered words,
They can all see the expressions on my face.
and maybe the tears in my eyes.
but no one really hears my heart screaming
No one sees it beat blood through aching holes.
Ill pour some sand in my heart to soak up the blood.
Ill put a smile on my face so you won't know
what I don't think you will understand
because I believe that I am alone.
I've convinced myself that the God I claim to live for
can hear me, but will not respond.
Have I attempted to deify myself?

You pity yourself you selfish fool.
You hate this world and all you want is someone else to hate it with you.
You once knew love when your world was a crib,
and you want to go back to that world.
You don't want the world you are resistantly forced into
and feel as though you must embrace so much of it that you don't want to.
You are in a state of helpless, hopeless confusion.
You will not open your heart, you will not show it
because you are afraid that no one will understand.
You do not even believe God understands you,
You steal the joy of others and take none for yourself.
Yet you are selfish and stubborn.
You don't know your purpose anymore,
You don't see your calling.
You are bipolar, emotional, and dramatic.
You are lost and feel you have become a burden to those around you

I do not understand what I am meant to understand.
Why is it all so easy for every other person to grasp and so difficult for me?
If I'm meant to let go of something, why was I meant to grab it in the first place.

Where is a cure?
Where is understanding?
Where is community?
Where is agreement?
Where is faith?
Where is God?
Where is love?
Where am I?

Where I look is where I go
And these are the things I see in a mirror
A mirror which stands between me and God