Why is time escaping me so quickly?

I have less than six months left.

What is life and what does it mean?

Is everything just to create another memory?

And what are these memories and the past?

Is it just some thoughts that remain in our minds?

God, give me understanding.

I'm chained to a person that I don't want to be.

I want the chains to be broken

I want to wake up from this sleep

May these words not be in vain,

Forgive me, my faults.

I hate my selfishness, my daze, and the half-hearted smiles.

Help me to deny myself, to accept you.

Let every breath be breathed unto you.

Let my life in every aspect glorify you and show your love

Help me to achieve these goals

Dear Father, My King,

Lord, why is it that I am so superficial, so fake?

That I feel nothing towards anyone

My words are empty

They are all that I am.

My expressionless expressions

-no smile, no tear, no laugh,

They attempt to turn a cheery face to a downcast one.

Tired, indifferent, impatient, angry, annoyed

Why is this all I am anymore?

A blank paper shows more than me.

I am my closest friend,

I am my worst enemy.

I wander through a fading forest,

This scene has become my home.

What have I done, what have I been, what can I do?

Must I act upon what I know I should,

Even if I do not feel, even if my heart isn't in it?

Oh I wish I could be pierced by brokenness again

from your Spirit.

I long to be with you.